Learning Process
I've got an event coming up, my first author signing/meet & greet. I'm really excited, but also terrified. I'm not a social person, and I don't like crowds. I really hate being the focus, and I'd much rather just fade into the background and just quietly pass through unnoticed. Ironic, given that I'm promoting a book that has such deep ties into myself and my mind, right? I'm nothing if not a walking contradiction. Isn't that how most art goes, though? You spend your time alone, creating something that shares a piece of your soul, your heart, but its not just for you. It's for others to see, to better understand you, or to help them understand themselves. Maybe I chose the wrong dream, or maybe I just need to learn how to overcome with my shortcomings. Get back with me in a year or two and we'll see which option won out.
Anyway, this post is titled 'Learning Process', so let me get on track here. I've been writing for fun since I was a kid, but up until I started to run my own Dungeons & Dragons campaign, my stories were never really seen by other people. From that point on though, I realized that I really enjoyed creating stories, places, and people that my friends wanted to learn more about. I started crafting ever more elaborate worlds, characters and narratives for them to imerse themselves into, and I think I did an alright job at that. Still, learning how to be a Dungeon Master (DM) and starting a campaign before even having played before was challenging, yet rewarding. Trial by fire, and all that. I'd like to think that writing this book was a similar process, just with less immediate feedback. I've put some stuff out on the internet before, but nothing as involved, or nearly as long as this. It was the largest project I've ever finished, and one of the biggest wake up calls too. I truly had no idea what I was doing, and I fumbled through the whole process with the skill and grace of a drunk racoon. If I could go back and redo the whole self-publishing process again, there are countless things I would change. But that's how life goes, right? Live and learn. I feel like I made a lot of big missteps, but I also know what not to do next time.
I sometimes wonder if not having any kind of degree in English or any form of literature will be a detriment in the future, or perhaps be seen as a way to de-legitimize my work. I know that such things aren't necessary to succeed, and never have been, but I can't help but wonder how having some sort of higher education might've made this process, or my future career, easier. Pointless, I know, but still. Call it my own version of playing on 'Hard Mode.' Needless self-imposed limitations just to make the victory all the sweeter at the end, assuming its ever achieved. Its the Dark Souls player in me coming out.
Am I just rambling? I'm not great at staying on task, especially when I've got all the prep work still to do for the signing event next month. I'm really hoping that I'll be able to pull that off and not make a fool of myself, but who knows. If you're in the neighborhood of Caldwell on August 10th, come by Lissa's at 6PM. I'll be there, trying not to collapse into a pile of dust under the pressure of the expectations I place on myself. Come pick up a book, or a cool bookmark I designed. Or, just say hi. I'll be there regardless. And hey, if you're still reading here, thanks. I don't know if anyone will ever see this besides myself, or those kind souls who support me unconditionally (you know who you are), but if you're someone who doesn't feel obligated to read this and cared enough to check me out, I'm glad I could have some kind of (hopefully) positive impact on you. See y'all next month.
Make your own fate,
-J. M. Prigmore
